The desolation of network television will grow riveting once NBC celebrity Brian Williams lands his big interview with media-darling Hillary Clinton. The in-depth encounter is destined to play out along these lines:
HC: Sorry I’m late … my plane was shot down.
BW: No apology needed. Happens all the time.
HC: There was a time my pilots had to corkscrew into Tuzla.
BW: I prefer bailing out.
HC: Well, I rush the cockpit and take the yoke.
BW: Indeed? Then I gather you’re a flyer of substantial experience.
HC: Well, isn’t that the measure of a great Secretary of State? I logged many miles.
BW: And your husband, the former president: you know the press corps boasts he’s a member of the mile-high club?
HC: Really? I guess I wasn’t along on that trip.
BW: I’m sure you were seeing to vital matters.
HC: Yes–our consulate in Benghazi, maybe.
BW: Fascinating. I’ve heard rumors of your heroics there.
HC: What difference does it make? But I tried to stop them.
HC: Guys out for a walk that evening, angry about some tasteless YouTube video. They left graffiti all over.
BW: I was en route for a live remote when they shot my chopper with an RPG.
BW: Happens all the time.
HC: What are the chances? By the way, did I mention Sir Edmund Hillary?
BW: Sir Ed? Why, he conquered Everest in ’53; I did last Tuesday.
HC: Wow … You know I was named for him back in 1947? That’s why I should be elected president.
BW: Because you were born in ’47?
HC: No. Because we’ve never had a president named for a mountain climber.
BW: Interesting … Has it occurred to you that we hadn’t had a black president until justice prevailed and we elected Barack?
HC: Barack? Barack who?
BW: Barack Obama. Ever meet him?
HC: No, no I haven’t. But honestly, Brian, I keep so busy I actually lose track of who’s in the White House.
BW: I’m sure America understands … So thank you, Madame Secretary, this certainly has been insightful for my viewer.
HC: Such probing questions … and look! My space shuttle’s just landing to get me. Off to rule the world ….
BW: And wouldn’t you know I hear army Chinooks approaching for me. Off to invent malarkey ….