Shoveling Moody’s Waste

cow-butts[1]Chester H. Moody ascended to president of his Future Farmers chapter as a mere high school junior.  Later, at State Agriculture College, he grew enamored of animal husbandry and, upon graduation, eloped with his childhood sweetheart and the couple used her savings to open a thriving dairy farm just off a winding road on the outskirts of tiny South Rapids.  Last Friday, clad in tall rubber boots and armed with a broad shovel, Moody was making tracks to his long, low barn when a Secret Service detachment blocked his progress.

“Dadgum if folks from the White House didn’t beat me to the job,” explained the amused Moody.  Shoulder to shoulder with new G-men friends, he pinched his nose as Joe Biden led a trio of steaming dump trucks across the cattle guard and down to the road back to the District.  Through a sly grin the dairyman conjectured, “Smells like Obamer’s fixin’ to give us a lecture.”

Indeed: no sooner had the noisome trucks rolled under the White House portico than Obama and his toadies were wheeling barrows of rank manure to media outlets.  Time had once more arrived to shift blame for Muslim terrorism away from Islam and dump it firmly in the lap of pernicious America.  Terrorists’ grievances, rebuked the president, must be addressed before ISIS monsters can be expected to give up arms and join the community of nations.

State Department spokeswoman Marie Harf, daft personification of dumb-blond jokes, gazed through Peabody spectacles and speculated that all a terrorist wants is a job.  As if she’s ever held one.

If she had, she just might suspect that a terrorist would make a lousy employee: “Boss, I need Tuesday off for the big attack in Banghazi,” or, “Sorry, have to skip tomorrow’s staff meeting to sharpen my sword.  Mass beheading of Christians coming up.”  Other workers, perhaps, would grow unnerved and distracted after recognizing their masked coworker, dozing in the break room, had only last night made his YouTube debut by setting fire to a Jewish captive.

But this administration would hardly understand that embarrassment arises when a fellow worker gains infamy in the media.  To Obama and his immature collection of apologists, that’s an incident they call Monday.

Embarrassment, however, is what Farmer Moody suffers now that his manure has been slung across America.  “No sir, isn’t dadgum unemployment making terrorists,” the former FFA president philosophizes.  “But it’s unemployment that will defeat terrorists.  Barack Obamer’s unemployment, in particular.”

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